Saturday, February 19, 2011

The Hot Wave

No, that isn't a typo.  I didn't mean the heat wave.  I meant the hot wave.  I'll explain, but first I need to give you some background information.  I grew up in Graham, Texas.  It is a small town located sort of on the cusp between North Central Texas and West Texas.  It's economy was and still is based on oil and ranching.  When I was growing up there in the 1940s and 1950s, the population was somewhere between 5,000 and 6,000.  If you ever read Larry McMurtry's The Last Picture Show, you know a bit about Graham.  It's about 35 miles from Anarene, the town McMurtry used as the setting for his book.  The people and the attitudes are a lot the same.

As you can imagine, in a town that size everybody knew just about everybody.  In the fall, the whole town turned out on Friday nights for the high school football games.  On Saturday afternoons just about the entire enrollment of the elementary and junior high schools (even the first graders) went to the picture show for the Saturday matinee with nary a parent in sight.  It was usually a double feature plus a serial and a cartoon.  Admission was 11 cents.  So for less than a quarter you could get into the picture show and have a popcorn or candy bar and a coke.  (All soft drinks/sodas were called cokes.)

We didn't have dial phones yet.  You picked up your phone and an operator said "Number please," and you told her the number you were calling. Our number was 1194-J.  If you couldn't remember the number, you just told her who you were calling and she connected you.  Of course, the fire department was comprised of volunteer firemen.  If a fire was reported, sirens that could be heard all over town were sounded.  The volunteer firemen picked up their phones and gave the operator a code word when she said, "Number please," and she told them where the fire was.  Some would go to the fire station, get on the fire trucks and race to put out the fire.   Others would go directly to the site of the fire and wait for the fire trucks to arrive.  Just about everyone in town knew the code word and would call the operator when the sirens sounded.  Then they would all flock to the reported fire to watch the firemen work.  This was big-time excitement in Graham.

I don't know how many hair salons there were in Graham then.  We called them beauty shops--still do.  The one my mother went to was in a little white frame house on a side street behind a gas station that was located on the corner of the side street and a main street. There was one shampoo bowl and two or three stations.  Instead of wearing the plastic capes of today, the customers wore white cloth capes.  Most women had "standing appointments" and went in once a week to have their hair shampooed and set in pin curls.  They would then sit under a huge, extremely hot hair dryer before having their hair "combed out" (styled).  In addition to hair cuts and sets, the shop offered dye jobs (hair, eye lashes and eye brows) and permanent waves.  The most popular (and possibly the only) permanent wave was the "hot wave."

A Hot Wave Machine
The hot wave as it existed in the late 40s and 50s was developed in the 1920s.  The hair was wound around special metal rollers and saturated with a harsh chemical solution.  Then a clamp that was suspended by a wire from an electric "chandelier" on a metal stand was placed around each roller.  The electricity was turned on and the clamps heated the metal rollers and the hair.  A certain amount of expertise was needed by the "beauty operator" (stylist) to judge when the heat had been applied for just the right amount of time at just the right temperature.  Too little time and the wave didn't take.  Too much and the person literally looked like the "finger in the electric socket" cartoon character.  The hair was literally fried.

Okay, that's enough background info.  Let's get on with the story.  All my life, my mother had a thing about my hair.  In fact, her last words to me before she died in 1984 were, "Go comb your hair."  For some still unknown reason when I was eight or nine, she decided that I needed a permanent wave.  Yes, my hair had just as much natural curl then as it does now so I have no idea for her reasoning.  Anyway, she called the beauty shop and made an appointment for me to get a hot wave.

I remember that I was apprehensive when we left home.  I had seen women attached to that machine with the long wires and it seemed most unpleasant to me.  I was right.  Just the winding of the hair around the metal rollers was painful as they somehow did a double wind and it pulled the hair.  Then came the chemical solution that burned my scalp.  The horrible smell burned my eyes and nose and mouth.  Tears streamed from my eyes so badly that I could barely see when they led me to the electric monstrosity with the clamps suspended by the wires that looked like tentacles. 


The machine was designed for a grown woman.  When I sat in the chair under the machine, the tentacles didn't reach my head.  I obviously had to be boosted up in the chair.  The Graham phone book was less than an inch thick so it wasn't even considered.  Out came all the unused towels and capes.  They were stacked precariously in the chair.  I was  lifted onto the top of the stack with the instructions, "Don't move or the stack will fall over."  That conjured up visions of my hanging in mid-air suspended by the tentacles.  The witch (Oops. I mean beauty operator) then connected all the clamps onto the metal rollers in my hair.  Once that task was completed, she turned on the electricity and the rollers began to heat up.

It  was about that time that the fire siren went off.  Excitement was coming to Graham, Texas, on that lazy weekday afternoon.  Someone picked up the phone and gave the operator the code word to learn where the fire was.  She then excitedly announced to the whole room, that the fire was right down the street.  With that, about half the women in the shop, ignoring their various stages in the unbeautiful process of beautification. rushed outdoors with white capes flapping behind them.  I, of course, couldn't go.  I was being held captive by the medieval torture machine.  I couldn't even move because the stack of towels might fall.

Before long, we could hear the fire truck's siren as it approached.  The excitement began to mount.  We knew the firemen were standing along the sides and back of the truck holding onto special handles to keep from falling off.  I was still attached to the machine when the truck began to round the corner onto the side street.  Then we heard a horrible crash! The fire truck took the corner too fast and rolled over spewing firemen all over the street.

With that, every single woman in the beauty shop, including my own mother, rushed out to see what was happening. I can't tell you what was happening.  I was still tethered to the machine and I was all alone.  I did hear a lot of shouting.  Then I began to focus on my precarious state as I could smell my hair beginning to burn.  I had visions of its catching on fire--blazing with no firemen to put it out because they were all lying unconscious in the street.

I don't know if it was my mother or the beauty operator who remembered me first.  They did finally come bustling in to attend to me.  I began to cry.  I think the tears were tears of relief.  The beauty operator turned off the machine and began to unclamp the clamps.  My hair wasn't going to go up in flames after all.
It was burned, however, and the frizzy ends had to be cut off.  Then she gave me a free hot oil treatment to try to reduce the frizz.  Then I got a shampoo and set and had to sit under the hair dryer.  There wasn't time for me to go outside to see the fire truck.  Mother had made an appointment at the Olan Mills studio for me to have my picture made that afternoon.  By the time I was finished, the fire truck had been righted and all the firemen attended to.  None received any serious injuries.  The reported fire had been a false alarm.


I'm attaching the picture of me taken that afternoon so that you can see all the curls. My hair did develop more frizz and had to be cut again.  Someday I will tell you about the Tony Home Permanent, a "cold" wave, that my mother gave me some years later.  But that story is for another day.

 


Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Day

This year Valentine's Day has double significance for me.  There was a teachers' meeting before classes started on Valentine's Day my first year of teaching.  I still have a clear visual image of the room where the meeting was held.  I was sitting next to one of the third grade teachers and she noticed the brand new, shining engagement ring on my finger and made me hold up my hand to show all the other teachers.  Rick had given me the ring the night before as my Valentine's Day present.  I was by far the youngest teacher in the school as I had celebrated my 21st birthday after classes started in September.  Most of the other teachers were old enough to be my grandmother.  They all made quite a "to-do" over my new status.  That was 48 years ago today.


This takes me back to the night before.  Rick had told me to meet him as soon as we got home from work that night.  He then said that he had a surprise for me.  It was a cold, dark, rainy February night in Dallas.  He drove to a jewelry store, parked and told me to get out.  Of course, we had talked about getting married and I told him that I just wanted a wide gold band and no engagement ring.  He didn't like that idea and when we arrived at the jewelry store, he told me he was buying me an engagement ring as a Valentine's present.  I selected this simple, modest solitaire that is still on my finger.  He said he wanted to give it to me on the 13th because he couldn't afford to get me anything else and he didn't want me to think that he had forgotten about Valentine's Day.



We went to our favorite restaurant, ordered drinks and he slipped the ring on my finger.  He never actually proposed to me--not even that night.  He just put the ring on my finger. The closest he ever came to a proposal was when he said, "A man would be a fool not to marry a woman who can make spaghetti sauce as good as you can."  

As I look at the ring, I am frequently reminded of my favorite Joan Rivers' quote.  She was talking about engagement rings and said that you can always tell if a woman is a man's first wife by the size of the diamond.  The first wife always has a small diamond.  Each subsequent wife's diamond gets bigger than the last wife's.  Well, when you look at the size of my diamond, you will know that I was Rick's first and only wife.


Apparently, I am being politically incorrect by still wearing my engagement and wedding rings.  Several months ago, I was surfing web sites that dealt with losing a spouse and coping with grief.  One had a questionnaire/list of things to consider.  One of the items asked if you were still wearing your rings.  Then it asked if you were, why were you.  It said that a widowed person is no longer married and should take off the rings.  Well, I'm sorry.  Intellectually, I realize that I am not a married person anymore.  Emotionally, I don't feel like a single person.  I simply am not ready to take off the rings.  Maybe someday I will.  I noticed recently that my sister-in-law has taken hers off.  My brother has been dead for four years.  Since I read that, I have been doing a check to see if widows are wearing their rings.  It seems to be about 50/50. 


The other significance of this date is that Rick died nine months ago today.  Of course, he was in the hospital for five weeks before he died so it has been over ten months since he has been here at home.  In a way it doesn't seem possible that it has been that long and in another way it seems like it has been forever.


I seem to be turning a corner in this grieving process.  I really can't describe the feeling.  About the best I can do is to say that the weight of grief is getting lighter.  I realize that it is time for me not only to get on with my life, but to begin to build a new one and enjoy it!  


This feeling was validated at church yesterday.  Pastor Gail's sermon was entitled "Choose Life and Hold Fast."  While she was delivering the message, those words were projected on a screen behind her.  The focus of her message was to choose the Christian life.  To me personally it meant more than just choosing to live a Christian life.  I felt that those words projected on the screen over her head were directed specifically to me.  God was saying, "Okay, Carolyn.  Time to get out of your funk. 'Choose Life,' and you'd better 'Hold Fast' because it's going to be a great ride.  Maybe a little bumpy at times, but a great ride nevertheless." So Gail, I'm sorry that my mind strayed a bit during your sermon, but I'm sure you had no idea what thoughts and emotions your words stirred in me.


Now to all of you, my friends.  Happy Valentine's Day.  It is a wonderful time to express all kinds of love--romantic, parental, platonic and friendship.  I love you and I thank each you for the love you have given me over the last ten months.  May we all "choose life and hold fast" in the coming year.